Through the Crosshairs
by Swordy Rides Again
Summary: Oneshot. An off the cuff comment from a colleague prompts a discussion between NYPD's most famous lovers about Ryo's past.


**Author's note – Although I wrote this fic, it doesn't belong to me. It was written as a birthday present for my very good friend, Blue so technically it's hers, although she's given me permission to post it here. When I said I would write a fic for her I asked her if she had any subject in mind. Her response was this question:**

'**Do you think, in his role as a sharpshooter, that Ryo has ever killed anyone?'**

**A discussion of our favourite boys quickly followed, and we agreed that it was a fascinating aspect of Ryo's character that, despite his gentle nature, he actively sought a role where he might be asked to kill on command. And so, the fic was born… I hope you enjoy it - Swordy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FAKE or its characters. Sanami Matoh has that honour. I just borrowed them when she wasn't looking.**

**Through the Crosshairs**

Dee watched the sleeping man for several long minutes. Not that he would ever have admitted it, but he needed the comfort he derived from seeing the steady rise and fall of his lover's chest. _He's okay_. His mind kept repeating the mantra uttered by the doctor several hours earlier when Ryo had been discharged from the hospital, but Dee always found himself a little twitchy when Ryo's safety was compromised. A while back, someone had pointed out that he probably wouldn't react like this to such minor things if he'd been counselled following Arnon and Jess's deaths and Dee felt inclined to agree. Even though Penguin was still with him, he couldn't help but feel like he had a knack of losing people he cared about.

Ryo _couldn't_ be added to that list.

The blond stirred slightly but didn't wake up. The blanket covering him on the couch slipped a little and silently Dee padded across the room to reposition it. The sleeping man frowned, his arm coming up from under the covers and narrowly missing the bandaged area on his forehead. Clearly Ryo's sleep wasn't proving to be the restful experience they had hoped it would be.

After watching for a moment longer, Dee reluctantly turned and headed to the kitchen, determined to occupy his overactive imagination by preparing a delicious meal for his lover when he woke up.

Half an hour later, Dee heard the front door opening and shot from the room, still wielding a sauce-covered serving spoon. His eyes met Bicky's, the finger to his lips pre-empting anything the boy might have been about to say. The teen then saw Ryo, pale, bandaged and sleeping and his bright blue eyes widened. He looked back to Dee who mouthed the words 'he's okay' before gesturing for Bicky to follow him into the kitchen.

"What happened?" the boy fired at him even before he could get the door shut.

The detective shot back a glare. "Jesus, Bicky. You could whisper across five blocks, d'you know that? I told you, he's fine."

"He doesn't look it," Bicky challenged.

"Well he is," Dee growled, not about to admit that he too had been reluctant to accept the doctor's prognosis, his glass always being of the half-empty variety. "He's got a slight concussion, but with a bit of rest he'll be fine."

Bicky dropped his school bag, his gaze moving past Dee to the cooker behind him. "Something's burning."

Dee spun like he'd been shocked. "Shit!" He lifted the offending pan off the heat and glowered down at the contents that had started to weld itself to the sides. "Great. Ryo's just gonna love this."

"I wouldn't worry," Bicky replied as he grabbed the carton of juice from the refrigerator and swigged from it. "He's been putting up with your crappy cooking for long enough."

"Thanks."

From Dee's lack-lustre comeback Bicky could tell that the detective was worried about Ryo and he decided to lay off. "So… how'd he end up concussed?"

"Drugs bust," Dee answered, moving around the kitchen as he tried to salvage the burnt sauce. "We leant a hand to Narcotics raiding a premises downtown. They must have been tipped off because they were ready for us. Ryo was lucky just being whacked with a baseball bat – another cop got shot. He's gonna pull through, thank God."

"Shit. But I thought you were at a bank hold up?"

Dee snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, clearly Ryo thought we hadn't had enough excitement for one day. He volunteered us for assisting with the raid when we got back to the precinct."

Bicky laughed. "Bet your lazy ass loved that."

"At least it got us out of paperwork," Dee shrugged. "Anyway, the hospital cleared him to come home once they'd done a few tests, but he's gotta take it easy so do me a favour and get on with your homework after dinner so he doesn't have to bug you about it, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you."

"Good. Now keep an eye on this pan. I'm gonna go see if he's ready to eat."

"Oh sure, then you can blame me for burning it."

"You're catching on."

Leaving Bicky to manage the culinary disaster in the kitchen he moved through into the living room, smiling slightly as his favourite sight came into view.

"Ryo?" Kneeling beside the slumbering man, Dee stroked some stray hairs from his lover's face. He looked okay - pale, but okay. "Ryo. Anyone home?"

Ever the light sleeper, Ryo was awake almost instantly. He saw Dee's worried face and smiled. "Yeah, I'm here."

"How you feeling?"

Ryo grimaced. "Like I got whacked with a baseball bat."

Dee gave him a sympathetic wince. "Ouch. Do you need more meds?"

"Later. I'm more hungry than anything."

The dark haired detective grinned sheepishly. "Well I've cooked. In fact it's ready now…"

"Why am I sensing there's a 'but' coming next?" Ryo smiled, ruefully massaging his temples. "It's burnt, right?"

"No! Okay, a little."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Ryo chuckled as he sat, then stood with Dee hovering next to him in case he was unsteady on his feet.

They ate the meal Dee had prepared, the cook pleased to see some colour returning to his lover's cheeks. When they'd finished, Bicky went off to do his homework with only a glare from Dee needed to remind him that he'd promised not to make a fuss. It was Dee that did the fussing, with Ryo quickly getting tired of the unnecessary attention and banning his lover from asking him if he was okay. There was a brief sulk, but it didn't last – if Ryo said he was okay then he meant it and Dee couldn't possibly stay sullen knowing that the other man was feeling better.

Leaving Bicky with a stern instruction not to stay up too late, the two men decided on an early night and headed for bed. Dee was under the covers and idly reading the newspaper when Ryo entered, fresh from the shower. The dark haired man looked up, his expression changing as he saw the now uncovered wound that Ryo was fingering gingerly.

"Is it sore?"

Ryo looked at him in disbelief. "Is Commissioner Rose a pompous ass with busy hands?"

Dee snorted. "Ask a silly question."

"And you get a silly answer."

The man in bed took a moment to sort the exchange out in his mind before concluding that his initial inquiry _had_ been stating the obvious.

"Sorry." He pulled back the covers and patted the empty space next to him. "Come on. Let Doctor Dee make it all better."

Ryo smiled and shook his head as he made his way across the bedroom. "Oh, sure. You got a magic wand under there?"

Dee's eyebrow quirked upwards and he laughed. "Well I never saw you as one for pet names, Ryo, but I'll let you have a look if you really want."

The blond rolled his eyes, knowing there was about as much chance of Dee missing an unintentional double entendre as there was of him making Rose's Christmas card list.

"Very funny. And sorry to disappoint you but I'm not exactly feeling up to any magic tricks tonight."

Dee feigned a look of despondency, but he welcomed Ryo into his arms and lay back, bringing the other man with him. They lay there in silence for several moments listening to the sounds of the T.V. filtering in from the other room. Eventually Dee put voice to the thoughts foremost in his mind.

"Ryo?"

"Yeah?"

"Someone asked me something about you today and I didn't know the answer."

Ryo frowned and turned slightly so that he could see Dee's face. "What did they say?"

"They were asking why you were a sharp shooter."

"That's it?"

Dee sensed that he needed to explain. "At the bank hold up when you got called away to go up on the roof with the rest of the sniper team, Penthall couldn't believe you were a shooter."

"Really? Why?"

Dee shrugged as best he could while horizontal. "I asked the same thing. He said he couldn't see someone like you as a shooter."

He watched Ryo look thoughtful for a moment as he tried to figure out whether he'd been insulted with that comment. With a partner like Dee he'd always been destined to be pegged as 'the quiet one' and he could understand why a cop like Penthall, who had very little contact with them other than at departmental meetings, would think that.

"After he'd said that," Dee continued, "it got me to thinking. _I_ don't know why you're a shooter. I mean, there's always the chance, as a cop, that you might have to kill someone, but as a shooter you have to kill _on command._" He looked at his lover, realising that it had opened another avenue he hadn't previously thought about. "Have you ever killed anybody, Ryo?"

They were both sitting up now, the discussion having moved into serious territory. It seemed an age before Ryo nodded.

"Yeah, once."

Dee knew he had no right or reason to be shocked. His silence however told Ryo that he was.

"You take that risk every time that you point a gun at someone, Dee. Even if you're aiming to just incapacitate them there's a possibility that the shot might do more than just wound them."

"I know, it's just…"

What was it just? He wasn't sure if he knew. Ryo was a cop, _he_ was a cop. He was under no illusion about what they faced everyday and what they might be required to do to keep peace in the city.

"Dee?"

"I'm sorry, Ryo." He sighed and scrubbed a hand through his untidy hair, always irritated when he was unable to verbalise his thoughts. "It's none of my business…"

"You want to know what happened." The response was part statement, part question.

Green eyes met brown. Dee nodded. "Sure. If you want to tell me."

Ryo looked past him for a moment. The scene was rolling in his mind now in the way that important life events had a habit of doing when mentioned. "It was a hostage situation in a fast food diner. The guy was waving a gun around, making threats. We were playing it cool until we got word that he'd killed three people at his apartment block before heading there. That changed everything. We were given the order to shoot." Ryo paused as he smoothed the bedspread with one hand, as if the action would clear his thoughts. "I had the clearest shot so I had to take it. The guy died several hours later." He looked across at Dee and smiled sadly. "I felt terrible for ages. I knew I'd acted in accordance with my job, but nothing changed the fact that I'd taken a human life."

Gazing into Ryo's dark eyes, Dee could see that it was something that hurt his lover deeply and he was surprised that he hadn't noticed that sadness before.

"So what made you choose to become a shooter in the first place?"

The question seemed to pull Ryo from his melancholy and he shrugged. "I was a good shot – the academy suggested that I should sign up for the armed response unit at whichever precinct I joined when I qualified." He knew it wasn't really answering Dee's question - his lover already knew that he was an excellent marksman.

"That's it? As simple as that?"

Ryo smiled, his lover's disbelief understandable. "Initially I was so caught up being the best shot in the academy and having a skill that could potentially advance my career, I'm ashamed to say I didn't really think about the consequences. At that time I was just hell-bent on working my way up through the ranks, figuring if I ascended to a high enough level within the force, I might be able to get some answers about what happened to my parents." He sighed deeply and his expression clouded with an uncharacteristic anger. "I also wanted to show all those so-called family members who had stood at my parents' graveside and doubted their integrity that they were innocent and that I was going to live my life the way they'd taught me. To do that, I knew I had to climb the career ladder and being in the armed response unit was like an extra step up from the first rung.

"The incident at the diner was the first call out where I fired my weapon and afterwards it finally hit home that I hadn't thought my decision through. Even though everyone was congratulating me, it frightened me that I had that control and I started to have serious doubts. I talked to a lot of people but everyone seemed to have a different opinion. I ended up even more confused."

"So what did you do?"

"Fortunately, I had a good captain," Ryo replied. "He allowed me to go with the unit but not act as a shooter on a few call outs before I made my decision whether to leave or not. The other guys were all great, but it wasn't until I witnessed first hand the difference they could make that I knew I should carry on putting my skills to good use. They saved a woman that day and afterwards I got to meet her daughter. Hearing her talk about her fears at the thought of losing a parent took me back to the day I found out something had happened to my mom and dad." Ryo paused, lost in the memory of that time, some twelve years ago.

"At first I was just told to come to the hospital because there'd been a car accident. I can still remember the journey there… imagining the various scenarios, wondering what I'd find when I got there, and how long it would take them to recover from any injuries they might have sustained. The one thing I couldn't bring myself to think about was the thought of losing them."

Ryo stopped suddenly and Dee found himself wishing that he'd never raised the subject that had led his lover to talk about his painful past. When he reached across for Ryo's hand, the blond looked up and smiled, the supportive action allowing him to regain control of his emotions.

"Of course, losing them was the reality I faced once I discovered what had really happened to them, but I realised after meeting that young girl and talking to her that I might be able to save people that pain by staying with the armed response unit. I had a skill that I could put to good use and prevent innocent lives being lost, even if I had to take one to do that." He looked straight at his lover, his expression now hard as stone. "The way I see it is everyone has choices, Dee, and if you choose to live on the wrong side of the law and harm others then there are consequences. Every time I raise my gun, I pray that it won't result in a death, but I'm prepared for that now, if it prevents innocent people from feeling the way I felt when I lost those closest to me."

Dee nodded, awed by his lover's calm strength. He brought Ryo's hand, still held between his, up to his lips and kissed it gently. "I'm sorry to make you talk about the past."

Ryo smiled. "Don't be. Every time we have the opportunity to share something about ourselves it helps to bring us closer together. Surely that can only be a good thing, right?"

"Definitely," Dee replied resolutely. "You know I'd tell you anything you want to know about me."

Ryo unsuccessfully stifled a yawn. "I'll keep that in mind, but I think I know all the important things about you."

"Like what?" Dee looked intrigued as they lay down together, settling on their sides so they were face to face.

Ryo smiled as he reached out and stroked some stray hairs away from his lover's face. "Oh, let's see. I know you like to set your clock fast so when the alarm goes off, you know it's not _really _that time and you don't have to get up yet. I know you hate Diet Coke but you're too polite to tell Penguin when she gives it you at the orphanage. I know that your favourite thing in the world is to lie in bed til noon on a Sunday with the sports pages, a strong black coffee and your cigarettes. I know you watch _The Young and the Restless,_ but would never admit it." His smile hinted at what was to come next as his hand trailed lower and disappeared beneath the sheets. "I know that you like being touched _here_."

Dee closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh, his lips curling into a smile. His heart rate quickened – a rhythmic _thump thump_ to match the pace of Ryo's movements.

"How about here?"

"Better."

"And here?"

With a gasp, Dee's eyes flew open to be met by Ryo's feigned look of innocence, his lover the one now wearing the smile.

"I thought you weren't up to anything other than sleep?" he asked as the movements under the bedcovers only intensified his pleasure. He felt obliged to tell the other man to stop, knowing he was still recovering from his earlier injury, but _damn_, Ryo was making it difficult.

"Yeah well. I think I can manage this."

Dee grinned suddenly and his eyes brightened as a thought occurred to him, but Ryo knew his lover only too well.

"You're going to make that 'magic wand' joke again, aren't you?"

"No! Well… yeah, okay. You got me."

"You can say that again," Ryo chuckled as he continued pleasuring his lover, his tiredness and pain kept at bay by the knowledge that Dee would surely return the favour with well-practised skill once he'd been satisfied. Their understanding of intimate preferences, borne of love and dedication to each other's wants and needs, left Ryo confident that he would not want to pass up Dee's offering when it was his turn to be pleasured.

Sleep could wait.

END


End file.
